Getting Back in the Game

So it has been a while since I have kept track of my health and I need to get back on it, so I start today! In the middle of the holiday season... I'm going to push through this. I need to for both my mental and physical health.
Since I have been off my "diet" I have really been mad at myself. I have really high standards for myself and I feel as if I don't meet any of them currently. This is why I get mad at myself when I don't stick to a diet and exercise plan. I know I want to lose 40 pounds so why am I eating this whole cake by myself? I see other girls that I aspire to look like body-wise but I am just a loaf of a girl who needs to do something for herself. I want to stop feeling bad about myself whenever I see someone I think is significantly prettier than I am. Now I am really going to try and hold my self accountable for all aspects of my health and I hope that I can hold my self to that from this day forward. I need to get into a better physical state mainly because I am out of shape and a little overweight. Do I need to lose 40 pounds? No. Realistically I only need to lose about 20 to be within my healthy weight range, but I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror. I believe that will require me to get down to the goal weight I had set for myself about 8 years ago. I also need to work on my mental health. I know looks aren't everything and I need to focus on other aspects of my life. I can't let myself get so upset just because of my weight, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. I have value as a person and I need to look deep within myself to find it.

Food:
Breakfast: Protein shake
Lunch: 2 servings of steak and potato soup
Dinner: A ham and croissant sandwich and about half a cup of macaroni salad
Snack: Salted sun flower seeds, about half a tablespoon of peanut butter

Water:
8 cups! I finally drank enough water in one day! (I really hated how much I had to pee)

Exercise:
Pilates belly bloat blaster (pop pilates video)

Something I like about myself:
I like how I can let lose and dance around for hours by myself. I think it is important to be able to enjoy the little fun things I can do every so often just so that I don't become to stressed or get bogged down in monotony.